“You don't belong here this place is for them” yelled the conductor at Rosa in a bus. He had no idea he had triggered a nation wide civil disobedience ripple effect. Rosa Left the bus and started walking. This became a movement where people started to walk and boycott government transport. whites would accuse you of causing trouble when all you were doing was acting like a normal human being. As Rosa Parks puts it “You died a little each time you found yourself face to face with this kind of discrimination”. There were two battles that Rosa was fighting one of being a women and other discrimination against the black. The first ten seats on every bus were always reserved for whites. Thus, on many bus routes, black riders would literally stand next to empty seats. It's the new century but our problems have not vanished. we are more aware of them.
Such discrimination is seen every day because you wear a Saree a Hijab or a mini skirt. The society wants you to keep experiencing Shame. What rosa has to deal with her own demons. The demons of shame. Shame is a mighty emotion. we feel it when we think we fall low on standards others have set for us. Shame is extremely painful ugly feeling that has a negative impact on our interpersonal behaviour*. Rosa was able to face this demon. Shame Researcher Bernie Brown makes it very simple 4 Step process to understand.
1st step: Recognizing Shame and Understanding Our Triggers
"When my son is not doing well at school"This can trigger shame. You are all responsible because it is your duty to ensure as a mother.Really ? No, It is not. This inflated sense of responsibility kills more women than cancer.
2nd: Practising Critical Awareness
Awareness is knowing something exists. Critical awareness is knowing why it exists, how it works. How our society is impacted by it and who benefits from it. Shame has its root cause in parenting, religion, politics etc. Figure that out and be critically aware about the origins of shame.
3rd: Reaching Out
We don’t reach out to “fix” or “save” others. We reach out to help others by reinforcing their connection network and our own. This increases our Shame resilience by:
4th: Speaking Shame
Shame is a type of pain that often defies definition. As discussed, shame unconsciously drives thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Speaking shame requires us to develop names and terms to describe some of the most painful, as humans, have to confront. When we speak shame, we learn to speak our pain. Women find it difficult to explain “not having a way to explain shame” as major factors contributing to feelings of fear, blame and disconnection. overcome this by
Let us be the Rosa who defies shame and shackles of society. A Society that wants you to keep doing this balancing act. Shaming you if you don't sacrifice.
Himali Kelvekar, Student of English literature with a minor in communication, media and Psychology at christ university, Bangalore with a on-ground work experience in content writing ,editing,designing and public relations.
Sahil Takshak A student of Delhi University. Writing is my first love. Passionate about fitness, travelling, human psychology, cooking, politics, music, movies and books.